Defense Mechanisms
Stop being so defensive! You’re totally projecting! I think maybe you repressed it!
Are these phrases you’ve heard or maybe even uttered yourself? Defense mechanisms are strategies we develop to fend off unwanted feelings and reduce anxiety. Everyone uses defensive
processes; and there are many examples we can see at work in our everyday interactions with
colleagues, friends and family. Defenses are really just strategies we’ve developed for tolerating
life’s hardships. The sticky part is that we’re often unaware of when and how our defenses are in
play. Below are some defenses that we’d do well to be aware of and maybe even reflect on and
get a little curious about.
DENIAL
This is a defense often observed in children when they avoid certain uncomfortable truths by
outrightly refusing to acknowledge them. As we grow older, many of us continue to use some
version of this strategy, especially in moments when the truth deeply shocks and upsets us. For
example, our first impulse may be to reject the news that someone close to us has died. Denial
can also be put to use in reinforcing certain ego-sustaining beliefs: like the belief that a
relationship is still working, even when there is obvious evidence to the contrary.
IDEALIZATION
Most children have a strong belief in their parents' unlimited powers to protect them. This can then be recast in grownup attachments, as we project idealized traits onto subjects of our
adoration. One problem here is that, the more we put someone or something on a pedestal, the
farther they have to fall in our esteem.
SPLITTING
Splitting, or “black and white thinking,” is the process by which we divide the world into, right
and wrong, good and bad. In effect, we are protecting ourselves by preserving good feelings and
warding off bad by dividing them into two discrete entities. The truth tends to be that life is too
messy for any one thing to be all good or all bad. While splitting can be evoked somewhat
benignly--think of the us vs them mindset of sports fans-- it is also at work in our judgments of
friends and family, in our racist or other prejudicial feelings about people not like ourselves–and
most recently in our covid/pandemic reactions.
PROJECTION
This is another way of protecting ourselves from disturbing thoughts and feelings. In proection,
one mistakes a sensation within one’s own mind as coming from the external world. Thus, we
accuse someone who has upset us in some way, of the anger or mistrust that we are actually
feeling.
SOMATIZATION
As infants, our upset feelings are all somatizations–something we understand through our bodily
sensations. This kind of physicalization of distress can continue into adulthood. There is lots of
evidence that profound stress takes its toll on the body and can lead to illness. Problems can arise when by insisting on the purely physical nature of certain ailments, we resist exploring the
psychological distress that may underlie them.
DISSOCIATION
Dissociation involves a blocking of pain or terror. It allows us to avoid unacceptable thoughts by
disconnecting the self from aspects of one’s current reality. This is common in moments of
extreme duress and may be a healthy response in dangerous situations. However, in the aftermath of such trauma, certain people continue to dissociate even in moments where danger is not present.
HUMOUR
This is a common form of sublimation, a strategy used everyday to make light of people’s
circumstances, or ridicule our adversaries or ourselves. This can be a productive way of
navigating hard feelings, however humour can become problematic when someone continuously
makes jokes rather than facing the underlying discomfort straight on.
INTELLECTUALIZATION
Intellectualizing is a means of converting our emotional states into dispassionate fodder.
Someone engaged in intellectualization may speak of upsetting or emotional issues at something
of a remove. This can provide a useful birds-eye view of one’s problems; but in its extreme it
represents an inability to feel one’s deepest emotions.
COMPARTMENTALIZATION
Rather than live with an understanding of ambivalence–that little in our social relations is
entirely good or bad–this mechanism allows us to have two paradoxical truths coexist by cutting
one off and keeping it separate from the other. We can see this defense at play in those who may moralize strongly against some facet in other people while being permissive of their own similar foibles. Our ability to act in brazenly hypocritical ways usually comes from compartmentalizing.
Are these phrases you’ve heard or maybe even uttered yourself? Defense mechanisms are strategies we develop to fend off unwanted feelings and reduce anxiety. Everyone uses defensive
processes; and there are many examples we can see at work in our everyday interactions with
colleagues, friends and family. Defenses are really just strategies we’ve developed for tolerating
life’s hardships. The sticky part is that we’re often unaware of when and how our defenses are in
play. Below are some defenses that we’d do well to be aware of and maybe even reflect on and
get a little curious about.
DENIAL
This is a defense often observed in children when they avoid certain uncomfortable truths by
outrightly refusing to acknowledge them. As we grow older, many of us continue to use some
version of this strategy, especially in moments when the truth deeply shocks and upsets us. For
example, our first impulse may be to reject the news that someone close to us has died. Denial
can also be put to use in reinforcing certain ego-sustaining beliefs: like the belief that a
relationship is still working, even when there is obvious evidence to the contrary.
IDEALIZATION
Most children have a strong belief in their parents' unlimited powers to protect them. This can then be recast in grownup attachments, as we project idealized traits onto subjects of our
adoration. One problem here is that, the more we put someone or something on a pedestal, the
farther they have to fall in our esteem.
SPLITTING
Splitting, or “black and white thinking,” is the process by which we divide the world into, right
and wrong, good and bad. In effect, we are protecting ourselves by preserving good feelings and
warding off bad by dividing them into two discrete entities. The truth tends to be that life is too
messy for any one thing to be all good or all bad. While splitting can be evoked somewhat
benignly--think of the us vs them mindset of sports fans-- it is also at work in our judgments of
friends and family, in our racist or other prejudicial feelings about people not like ourselves–and
most recently in our covid/pandemic reactions.
PROJECTION
This is another way of protecting ourselves from disturbing thoughts and feelings. In proection,
one mistakes a sensation within one’s own mind as coming from the external world. Thus, we
accuse someone who has upset us in some way, of the anger or mistrust that we are actually
feeling.
SOMATIZATION
As infants, our upset feelings are all somatizations–something we understand through our bodily
sensations. This kind of physicalization of distress can continue into adulthood. There is lots of
evidence that profound stress takes its toll on the body and can lead to illness. Problems can arise when by insisting on the purely physical nature of certain ailments, we resist exploring the
psychological distress that may underlie them.
DISSOCIATION
Dissociation involves a blocking of pain or terror. It allows us to avoid unacceptable thoughts by
disconnecting the self from aspects of one’s current reality. This is common in moments of
extreme duress and may be a healthy response in dangerous situations. However, in the aftermath of such trauma, certain people continue to dissociate even in moments where danger is not present.
HUMOUR
This is a common form of sublimation, a strategy used everyday to make light of people’s
circumstances, or ridicule our adversaries or ourselves. This can be a productive way of
navigating hard feelings, however humour can become problematic when someone continuously
makes jokes rather than facing the underlying discomfort straight on.
INTELLECTUALIZATION
Intellectualizing is a means of converting our emotional states into dispassionate fodder.
Someone engaged in intellectualization may speak of upsetting or emotional issues at something
of a remove. This can provide a useful birds-eye view of one’s problems; but in its extreme it
represents an inability to feel one’s deepest emotions.
COMPARTMENTALIZATION
Rather than live with an understanding of ambivalence–that little in our social relations is
entirely good or bad–this mechanism allows us to have two paradoxical truths coexist by cutting
one off and keeping it separate from the other. We can see this defense at play in those who may moralize strongly against some facet in other people while being permissive of their own similar foibles. Our ability to act in brazenly hypocritical ways usually comes from compartmentalizing.
Defense mechanisms are an unavoidable part of being a person. Recognizing where our
blind spots are, and the situations that evoke them is an important strategy for reducing their hold over us. By identifying where our automatic responses come from, we can learn how to develop more conscious and appropriate forms of coping. This process of learning to observe and reflect rather than criticize is a process you can develop in therapy.
blind spots are, and the situations that evoke them is an important strategy for reducing their hold over us. By identifying where our automatic responses come from, we can learn how to develop more conscious and appropriate forms of coping. This process of learning to observe and reflect rather than criticize is a process you can develop in therapy.